Love is a beautiful and complex emotion that we often associate with forming bonds with others. However, in recent years, a unique and empowering trend has emerged that challenges conventional notions of marriage – sologamy. Sologamy involves marrying oneself in a solo ceremony, celebrating self-love and personal growth. While this concept might raise eyebrow
s, there are profound reasons why some individuals choose to embark on this journey of self-commitment.
During an ayahuasca ceremony, I had a personal experience that left a heartfelt impact on
me. This particular event took place on the third night of a week-long series of ceremonies, with this night being referred to as 'Lady's Night'. On this occasion, the ceremony was led by a female Shaman and her female assistants, infusing the atmosphere with distinct divine feminine energies. This contrasted noticeably with the previous nights.
The unique ambiance of 'Lady's Night' fostered a sense of security and empowerment within me, allowing me to delve deeply into my introspection. Amidst the journey, I found myself standing before a magnificent self-created temple. While I don't retain specific details of the ceremony itself, the overwhelming sensation of self-acceptance remains vivid in my memory. Curiously, this sense of self-acceptance wasn't a premeditated outcome or even a contemplated possibility. Astonishingly, this sentiment of happiness and self-approval continues to resonate even after a span of three years.
At the heart of sologamy lies a fundamental principle – the importance of self-love and self-discovery. Before we can truly connect with others, it's crucial to have a strong and healthy relationship with ourselves. A sologamy ceremony serves as a declaration of one's commitment to prioritize self-care, personal growth, and inner happiness. By taking the step to marry oneself, individuals signal their intention to invest time and energy in understanding their desires, needs, and aspirations. The ceremony itself can be as simple or complicated as the person wishes it to be. It co
uld be an individual affirmation in private to an event comparable to a traditional marriage with an officiator, a ring, guests and a party. It’s your ceremony, do what’s right for you.
Sologamy challenges societal norms surrounding relationships and marriage. Traditionally, marriage has been seen as a union between two individuals and recognized as a legally binding contract. However, sologamy offers an alternative perspective – the idea that a person can be complete and fulfilled on their own. Sologamy is not legally binding in the US and in fact not recognized by the laws of any country. But, by embracing sologamy, individuals assert their independence and reject the notion that their happiness is solely dependent on finding a partner. This marriage does not need to be exclusive, many people who marry themselves are legally married or in a committed partnership.
Marriage to oneself is an act of embracing autonomy and freedom. It signifies the ability to make choices that are solely driven by personal desires and values. Rather than conforming to external pressures or expectations, sologamy allows individuals to craft their own path and make decisions that align with their inner convictions. This celebration of independence can lead to increased self-confidence and a sense of agency over one's life.
For some individuals, sologamy can
serve as a powerful tool for healing and closure. It can symbolize the end of a past relationship, allowing them to let go of emotional baggage and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. By committing to themselves, they acknowledge their worthiness of love and acceptance, regardless of external circumstances. This act of self-compassion can facilitate emotional healing and pave the way for a healthier future.
Sologamy is not a rejection of the idea of partnership; rather, it's a celebration of personal growth and self-improvement. Through this commitment, individuals pledge to continually evolve, learn, and become the best version of themselves. This dedication to growth can extend to all areas of life, fostering a mindset of constant self-improvement and a willingness to embrace challenges and opportunities.
While sologamy might not be a choice for everyone, it offers a thought-provoking perspective on the importance of self-love, autonomy, and personal growth. By marrying oneself, individuals send a powerful message about their worthiness of love, commitment, and happiness. In a world where external validation often holds sway, sologamy is a bold declaration that self-love is a journey worth celebrating. For myself I have found that it has benefitted my marriage; it’s easier to love someone when they love themselves. Whether it's about healing, defying societal norms, or embracing one's unique journey, sologamy shines a light on the transformative power of self-commitment.
It's important to note that sologamy is a personal choice, and its benefits can vary widely from individual to individual. Just like traditional marriages, the success and fulfillment of sologamy depend on the mindset, intentions, and personal circumstances of the person involved.
It's also worth mentioning that some people might view sologamy with skepticism, particularly in cultures where traditional marriage is highly valued. As with any unconventional practice, opinions on sologamy can differ greatly.