In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Between work, family, and social commitments, many people find themselves struggling to maintain healthy relationships with their partners. They are left feeling sexually unfulfilled and not connected. We were in that boat and recognized we needed to navigate out of where we were by building a conscious and intimate connection with each other. Once we did that, we found ourselves enjoying a revived, happy, healthy relationship.
That sounds like a lot of work, but it will be fun!
One of the key elements of building this connection is the ability to be vulnerable. When partners are able to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with one another without fear of judgment, they can deepen their emotional connection and build trust. This can be especially true when it comes to exploring their sexuality and sensuality. By being open and honest about their desires, fantasies and needs, couples can create a safe and nurturing environment for their sexual expression, which in turn can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. This emotional safety is crucial in a relationship to establish trust and openness between partners.
Here are a few additional ways that we have found have helped us in our relationship:
Listen non-defensively: Listening to your partner without being defensive and validating their feelings creates safety while dismissing or blaming them creates damage.
Let go of toxic thoughts: Challenge your old thought patterns about your partner and the relationship, and avoid labeling your partner with negative descriptions. Give them the benefit of the doubt and shift any negative or toxic thoughts to positive and loving ones.
Body language and touch matter: Nonverbal communication makes up a significant portion of communication, so be mindful of your body language and tone of voice when communicating with your partner. Show your partner that you are present, engaged, and supportive through touch and positive facial expressions. Reinforce your commitment: Using exit language like “maybe we should break up” or withdrawing from them emotionally can make your partner feel unsafe, so reinforce your commitment to the relationship through “we” statements and remind your partner that you are in this together.
Thank them: Express gratitude when your partner shares with you and let them know that you appreciate them trusting you and being vulnerable with you. Gratitude can fall off quickly in a relationship if it isn’t cultivated.
Be consistent: Consistency builds trust, so be consistent with your words and actions to create a sense of stability and reliability in your relationship.
Learn your partner’s ‘Love Language’ and use it. Each one of us has our own unique ways to how we receive and express love in a relationship. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these five unique styles of communicating love: Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts.
We also discovered that it is important to approach sex in a Mindful way. It has deepened our connection greatly during our playtime. Mindful sex is the practice of staying present in the moment during sexual activity, without judgment or distraction. This allows partners to fully connect with one another on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. By focusing on the present moment and staying mindful, couples can experience a deeper and more meaningful connection during sex, which can lead to greater intimacy and satisfaction.
The benefits of building these connections with your partner extend beyond the emotional and psychological realm. In our experience, it has reduced our stress and anxiety and increased our levels of happiness and well-being. Additionally, by building a deeper emotional connection, we have experienced a greater sense of trust and security in our relationship, leading to improved communication, conflict resolution, and overall satisfaction.
At EvolutionarySex.org we teach couples how to build a more conscious connection with their partner(s) through our mentorship program. It doesn’t matter if you are in an open relationship or monogamous, we can help you to nurture a solid loving partnership. Let us share what we’ve learned in our 42 years of passionate marriage. We provide a safe, non-judgmental container that allows you to explore your sexuality and sensuality without shame or judgment. We can help you learn to stay present in the moment and focus on your emotional and physical connection, it will deepen your intimacy, enhance your well-being, and create a happier and more fulfilling relationship with your lover(s). Click HERE to find more information on our mentorship program.